Continued.....

OK.... Yesterday I got too sleepy to finish my thoughts. I didn't want to start talkin in circles so I just quit. lol

ANYWAY!!!! So I think I'm a pretty good guy, a great catch even. (if I do say so myself.... lol) Being this great guy, I get confused to y I always turn up short in the romance department.... Y can't I find a long lasting love.... a relationship that is strong and steady. I get to that 1 1/2 year mark and, tho the stories may be different, Its always the same outcome every time. Is it me? Am I doing something wrong? I mean I need to know. This is really gettin outta hand. I don't wanna end up alone and lonely...... livin with CATS for the rest of my life or something.

Its so funny..... Without sounding too cocky, I have people hit me up all the time and ask me "y are u still single?" HELL.... I wish I knew. I wish I could see what exactly is going wrong before it happens, just to keep things on track for once. I mean its crazy, I feel like I'm living a double life. On one hand U have the Jason that everyone knows and loves.... That fun loving care free guy. Loves to eat drink and be merry. But on the other hand u have that Jason that secretly longs for romance and love.... That fights off loneliness and tears daily. That Jason that wants nothing more than to celebrate 5... 10... 15... 20 years with someone. Its crazy to me because most people my age just aren't looking for that. Most young Black 20 something dudes out here are chasing whatever they can fuck on the first night.

Here I am..... alone. In my room. By myself. Wondering what when wrong with who? Whose fault it was? Can it be revisited? Repaired?

I really am looking for answers to this. Its not too often I get this heavy in a post.... but I'm serious. Y can't I be happy and share that happiness with someone special? I'm tired of getting to know people. I'm tired of dating for the sake of dating. I'm tired of one night stands, casual encounters, unanswered phone calls, liars, cheaters, heart break, pain, loneliness. I'm sick of this shit.