Memoirs of a Socialite: Its just those Rainy Dayz

Hmmmmm..... Today I missed u. (FYI:I'm not talking about U) Not u so much as I missed the idea of u. At least the u I created in my head. In my mind ur are Everything. But in reality its just me. Sitting here on a Friday evening in the bed watching Cartoon Network without u. I'm sure I'll get passed it... but just right now I miss it. I try to talk to my friends about U but how can I speak on something I don't really understand. So I just watch Cartoon Network. Alone. Without U. I think its this weather that has U on my mind. That kinda warm spring evening with the rain. Sky full of nature sounds and scents. Yep days like these make me want u more. Make me wish I could go back to the first time I met u..... Lock U up and never let u go. Rainy days will do that to u I guess. This weather brings out the romance. DAMN RAIN!!! But it is what it is.

There was a time I would have done anything to be with u, around u, for just one second. Those days are long gone. These days I just don't trust u.... Don't like u.... And could really give a fuck less about what ur doing right now. (Its still not about U) But even with all that I MISS U!!! I wish that could get back with U. But I won't, I can't. Not now.....Its just too soon. I wanna be perfect next time we meet. I wanna deserve it all.

Just in case u all haven't figured out by now.... I'm not talking about someone. I'm talking about something. LOVE. That feeling u get when u wake up in the morning still in each others arms. Or how u feel when U get the "I was just thinkin bout u" text message mid afternoon while going thru at work. That's what I'm talkin about. Oh how nice it would be to sift thru the bullshit of life to get back to that point again. One day!!! But until then, I'll just be sitting here with my Cartoon Network and catch up on some much needed rest.

Memoirs of a Socialite: Papa was a Rollin Stone

U know the funniest story I can think to tell u about me is the fact that my Brother, Sister, and I are all the same age born in the same year (and we're not triplets). LMAO..... This didn't sound weird to me for a long time. I guess til my teens, when people would actually look at me funny and judge. But who cares....

ANYWAY!!!!

My father is a very selfish man. Since I could remember he only did things to benefit himself. Still the same exact way in 2010. Funny to me..... I mean U would think that we change as we get older. I mean I did. But I could be wrong. So what do U say about a man that's done nothing for u ur whole life? I say thank U. The best thing he could have ever done for me was not be there. Its this single action that has shaped me into the person I am today. Now, I'm not like most people out here with "daddy issues." Matter fact I don't have issues with him at all. I don't blame my short comings on the fact that he wasn't there. I blame falling short in whatever area on myself cuz I was LAZY. I did that. What he did for me was forced me to grow up and be a MAN, not sit around looking for a handout.

I'll say another thing he did for me is helped produce my Best Friends: Beth, Nicole, and Eddy.

Now I hope u all don't take this as me Bashing this man. I'm just talking about what I know. Its crazy to me to think that in almost 28 years I know nothing about him. I mean his favorite food, color, movies.... I know nothing. Kinda sad huh? Yep I thought so too. It is what it is at this point. I mean.... I'm too older for a father now. Everything I needed I got from my Mom. We can still be cool tho. Kick it. Go out to eat or something. But that's about it. I don't need the Father son talks....... I'm good!!!! lol.

FYI: Mini blog

U know.... I don't know y it matters, but it does for some strange reason. U didn't dump me. I dumped u. I know u tell the story your way to your friends.... But I tell the truth.

Fantasia - Control Freak (New Music 2010)

Foto Magik pt2

Memoirs of a Socialite: Ex Factor

So the other day I talked to someone I dated years ago..... It was cool to kinda catch up and talk as friends given the relationship we had. In this phone call they shared that they read my blog often..... This kinda shocked me. I never really set out to have a following with this thing, just an outlet really. So I had to ask.... "what do u think?" "Its really cool..... But u talk about dating a whole lot." Its this one thing that stuck out in my head. Out of everything we talked about, and we talked about a lot, this one thought rattled around in my mind.

So y do I talk talk about dating so much? This was my thought for a while....... Then it really just came to me. I'm one of those people that has to understand something. I have to ask questions until I can really make sense of it all. I want to understand it all so I can learn from it and apply what I've learned to real life. So ok...... I get it. I want to understand how I can be "such a great catch" yet nobody has scooped me up and kept it goin. Now with this epiphany came more searching. So what I thought I would do is a little compare and contrast of the past. Who I dated..... who they were.... the good the bad and the ugly. Now I know opening this can of worms will be followed by some attitudes, phone calls, text messages..... But it is what it is.

2001: The Virgin Dater!

This was someone who has become one of my nearest and dearest friends. This was my first attempt at a "Grow up" relationship. Now I stress the friendship.... because the relationship was so BAD!!! lol. It was like dating a homie. We lived in 2 different states, never saw each other, had really good phone conversations..... but it was something missing. We laugh about it now, but what were we doing? I mean REALLY!!!

2002: The Serial Bed Hopper!

Young and Inexperienced. What did I do next? Started dating a Hoe. I mean a HOE!!! I don't know to this day how many times I was cheated on. I mean at 20 years old, you can't even kick it with the person ur dating..... So what do u do? Sit at home and wait til the club closes (maybe I'd get a phone call, maybe not).

2003: The Busy Business Professional

at 20 going on 21 I thought it was so cool meeting a professional that wanted to be with me. ME? I work in customer service part-time, with no college degree. Are u sure ur lookin at me? Well it was me. Surprisingly this was one of the best relationships I've had..... when there was time for it. It was equal parts of fun & lonely. I traveled the country as the young show piece.... I was arm candy. The friends liked me.... cuz I was cute. They didn't respect my opinions, views on issues.... but I was CUTE!!! It ended, but we were able to be cool. We can trade advice now on money issues, relationships, careers..... I mean I'm still cute but at least I have an opinion that matters now.

2004: The LIAR

Now this one was a FOOL. This is probably the single STUPIDEST thing I've done. I traded down big time. And boy did I pay for that mistake. This relationship ended up with me leaving my family and friends behind, relocating across the country, falling into the deepest depression I've ever experienced as an adult, and flirting with alcoholism. This one was so bad that there are people to this day that don't know the details of it. I mean some of this stuff I've locked away in a box and dumped it in Lake Michigan. This was a hard one. At one point I wasn't sure if I'd make it out of it. Honestly I thought one of us would end up in JAIL or dead.

2006: The Minister of Confusion

Now this one really started out on a very high note. We were really in love. I mean a love that grew from a great friendship. There's nothing like finding someone that u love, the family loves, the friends love..... The scary part came in with the fact that they didn't really love themselves. I mean if ur unhappy with who u are, how can u be happy with who WE ARE? We had potential but their family overruled us. And to make a bad situation worst.... What would have been our 4 year anniversary, became their wedding date. CLASSY RIGHT?

2007: The Unsure Dreamer

I'm not sure how this one even happened. I mean I was single.... and we just kinda fell into this one. This relationship was so rocky. We couldn't even agree on dinner..... lol

2008: The Starving Artist

Now this is where things really get crazy. In the beginning, we both expressed how happy we were with life as it was. We were both in no hurry to be in a relationship. We both agreed that the single life was a good life to live. But thru multiple dates, phone calls, and text message things happened. Feelings grew..... So what else do u do besides date right? Then came love.... Then came reality. And the reality was we didn't work out at all. It was almost like we lived on 2 separate Earths. In my world we paid bills on time, worked hard and got promoted regularly, went to school, graduated.... and on and on. While on the other Earth they partied a lot, drank daily, smoked often, and barely worked. Who knew this great person from the beginning was really like this? Now there lived a great talent in there, but it was overshadowed by fear of rejection. So that's that..... One person ended up being a different.

SO that's my dating record in a nut shell. Thru it all I eventually wanna get back out there and do it all over again. NOT RIGHT NOW THO!!!!! I'm good. LMAO

Memoirs of a Socialite: The case of the FAKE PEOPLE

Its funny..... Since I've been on FaceBook I've been able to connect with people I haven't seen in years. I mean people I haven't talked to in at least 5-10 YEARS. Kinda cool I thought.... The funny part comes in when the "others" pop their heads up.. We all have a group of the "others." U know that group of people that could really give a fuck about u...... BUT STILL wants to know whats going on with U. I mean its like.... Y do u care? Does ur life really suck that bad that U gotta find out whats new in CURRY LAND? I mean get over it and get a life please!!!

So where is all this coming from? I'm glad u asked...... (lol) So yesterday I get an alert on my Blackberry about a friend request on Facebook. Big deal I thought.... I mean I get them all the time. But this one was kinda weird. It was from some middle aged lady. The first thing I could think of is "WHO IN THE HELL?" Right? Cuz wouldn't u? I mean I'm 27..... What or who do we have in common? So I look at the mutual friends.....One is a business contact.... The other is a family friend/shit starter..... So I go to the family MOUTH PIECE (Hey Sis-in-Law). lol. "Patrice who the hell is this?" (SIDEBAR: For those of u who have never met my Sister in Law...... she's about 3 feet tall, with the biggest attitude u will ever meet. And that's y I love her.) Anyway.... she knows right away who this cougar is..... I use the term cougar loosely because it has a bit of sexy attached to it..... And she was POPPED!!!!!


Now y would she friend request me? What do we have to talk about? The word? Politics? Dancing with the Stars? GURL..... Get a life. U want me to be ur FB friend because U want to attach urself to anything CURRY. Cut it out. U could care less about me. U just wanna figure out who I am and how I tie into this soap opera u've created in ur mind. Ma'am..... I DON'T!!!! This kinda goes for everyone else to. This whole I wanna know whats going on with Jason just for the sake of being in the loop is a fool. I mean..... y not apply that energy into something a little more important? If I get another friend request from a Middle Aged Stalker, Ex's Ex, Ex's Current, Fathers Ex...... Any of that..... I'm going OFF!!!!

Good day all....

Pt 3 coming soon.

Memoirs of a Socialite: Reflection

So I had this idea to make this blog a little more personal. My idea is to document my life BIGG and small. To share my journey with everyone. I'm sure some people won't care. And to them I say..... GET THE FUCK OFF MY BLOG. LMAO!!!!

So I find myself lately doing a lot of reflecting on the past. Good and bad. Things I handled well, as well as my short comings. I'm trying to learn from experiences and move forward. From the outside looking in my life seens great. I have a great family: 2 Sisters 1 Brother that I'd walk across hot coals and broken glass for. A loving mother..... She's not perfect but she's MINE!!! A great group of friends.... Shout out to the "Miss Honey" Crew. But theres this one element I always seem to miss out on. A partner. A lover. A Boo. Whatever u wanna call it, it's not there.

Its funny, My sis Nicole and I just had this convo about getting Boo's. Well where the hell are they? Eddy's Married with kids. Beth's minutes away from jumping the broom. I want to settle down too. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not rushing anything. I don't want any kids so I don't have to worry about getting too old to make that happen. But want I want is to kick back on the couch with my head in my Baby's lap, while we watch some scary movie and the play in my braids. That's how I wanna end my day. I keep hearing John Legend in my head "Where did my baby go? I wonder where she ran off to. I miss my baby so. I'm calling but I can't get thru. Please tell that girl if u meet her, that someones longing to see her."

I mean Who ever thought that the absence of one person in your life could leave so much emptiness in ur heart. I wanna love and be loved in return. I want to want and be wanted in return. I want to feel and be felt in return. I want love. I'm trying to wait patiently, and so far I thing I've done a good job. But I'm not sure what the hell CUPID is waiting on, but it better be GOOD. Again, I feel like I have to repeat this. I' m HAPPY. I'm about to Graduate. I'm successful in my career. Happy in my social life. I just wanna share that with someone.

That's all.

Pt 2 coming soon........

Foto Magik

The Most Followed Man of 2010

So ok.... My friends that know me really well know that I can occasionally appoint myself with a new title. LOL.... I mean Y not? I like to think of them as the names of the ordinary people.... in my head. LOL

"Tha Urban Socialite"

Who is Tha Urban Socialite? He's fun. The life of the party. The first one U call when ur lookin for a good time. Thats him in a nutshell. Oh and he DRINKS HEAVILY!!!!! LOL

"The New Twitter"

Y The New Twitter? This one is funny. It seems like in that last 6 months or so I've gained a lot of fans, followers, stalkers..... whatever u wanna call them.. Either way people been all in my business. LOL. Talkin about it to each other. Postin shit online. Text, phone calls, whatever they can get to. I mean thats fine. If u need something to talk about.... If ur life sucks that bad. FOLLOW ME!!!! But just understand what ur gettin into. OK?

"Jairok"

Jairok is a lover. He's the one u wanna date. He's the one that holds the door open for u. He's the one that pulls ur chair out for u. He's a gentleman. Gentle Giant even. He's a pretty nice guy. Romance and relationships are his thing.

S.E.X.

I love SEX.... Like I mean I REALLY LOVE SEX. But is there something wrong with doing it with someone ur into? People act like I'm some freak show when I say I'm not on the sex thing right now...... Maybe I should say I'm not into diseases. I'm not into to hoes. Maybe then they'll get my point.I mean I WANT TO HAVE SEX SOOOOOOO BAD!!!!! But I don't wanna just do some type of random, we only know each other by our screen name, we can't kiss, no stayin the night hook up. I mean how good can that type of sex be anyway? I want to FEEL things I've never felt before. So I guess I'm just OFF SEX for a while. That sucks......... lol

Continued.....

OK.... Yesterday I got too sleepy to finish my thoughts. I didn't want to start talkin in circles so I just quit. lol

ANYWAY!!!! So I think I'm a pretty good guy, a great catch even. (if I do say so myself.... lol) Being this great guy, I get confused to y I always turn up short in the romance department.... Y can't I find a long lasting love.... a relationship that is strong and steady. I get to that 1 1/2 year mark and, tho the stories may be different, Its always the same outcome every time. Is it me? Am I doing something wrong? I mean I need to know. This is really gettin outta hand. I don't wanna end up alone and lonely...... livin with CATS for the rest of my life or something.

Its so funny..... Without sounding too cocky, I have people hit me up all the time and ask me "y are u still single?" HELL.... I wish I knew. I wish I could see what exactly is going wrong before it happens, just to keep things on track for once. I mean its crazy, I feel like I'm living a double life. On one hand U have the Jason that everyone knows and loves.... That fun loving care free guy. Loves to eat drink and be merry. But on the other hand u have that Jason that secretly longs for romance and love.... That fights off loneliness and tears daily. That Jason that wants nothing more than to celebrate 5... 10... 15... 20 years with someone. Its crazy to me because most people my age just aren't looking for that. Most young Black 20 something dudes out here are chasing whatever they can fuck on the first night.

Here I am..... alone. In my room. By myself. Wondering what when wrong with who? Whose fault it was? Can it be revisited? Repaired?

I really am looking for answers to this. Its not too often I get this heavy in a post.... but I'm serious. Y can't I be happy and share that happiness with someone special? I'm tired of getting to know people. I'm tired of dating for the sake of dating. I'm tired of one night stands, casual encounters, unanswered phone calls, liars, cheaters, heart break, pain, loneliness. I'm sick of this shit.