Memoirs of a Socialite: L.O.V.E.

The strange thing about love...

Love is like that Abusive spouse.  No matter how much we're hurt by it... No matter much it makes us cry, we still keep running back to it.  Y? Y exactly is this one thing so important?  Y is the need for love or the need to BE LOVED so important that we're willing to do just about anything to get it?

Love is my drug of choice I guess.  Its like the closer I get to it the more I want it.  It makes me SWEAT... I start to SHAKIN.  

Ever been LOVED?

Ever LOVED?

I guess its those little glimpses of what could be... those little samples of what Love could feel like that bring me back.  A while back I swore off Love.  I wanted nothing else to do with it.  I was FED UP!  Not anymore.  I'm on my LL Cool J right now.

I NEED LOVE.

A real Love tho.  Not that fake stuff u find lurking around the corners.  I'm wanting forever.  I'm talking exchanging rings & last names.  That's what I'm on.

Are u ready for that?

Memoirs of a Socialite: Hey Young World

I'm in a good place.  LOOK OUT WORLD!!! I'm BACK....

All I needed was a swift kick in the ass to get me back on my GRIND. 

Thank U WORLD... for not letting me give up...

I've had to kiss a couple frogs on my way, but I definitely am on my way to find what I've always wanted. 

Hey Young World...

I gotta new attitude. 

I gotta new outlook. 

I gotta new support. 

I gotta new drive. 

Jason Urban Socialite Curry 7.0 (new & improved)

Memoirs of a Socialite: Please Excuse my Tears

Please excuse my tears.  I didn't mean to be emotional.  I meant to be a 6'4" ROCK.  I meant to be an emotionless vessel.  

Normally my feelings are tucked so far away... Or are they?  Cuz if they were How is it possible to constantly be hurt the way I am?  How is it possible to be constantly let down like I am? 

I think I need to do a better job of guarding ME...  But if I do that then am I being fair to who or whatever's next? 

I'm confused.  I don't get it... And I'm tired of trying to make sense of it all.  

Memoirs of a Socialite: God do u forgive ME?

U ever feel so caught up in ur own life that u forget u aren't alone? Its crazy cuz I was always taught to trust God on Everything.... BIGG and small.  But when I got into a situation I was so convinced that I was alone...

I'm glad I was wrong. 

God do u forgive ME?  Forgive me for almost turning my back on U completely?  Forgive me for losing sleep worrying about the things I turned over to u.... The same things I said I put in ur hand. 

God u showed me the type of God I really serve.  All i can do is say I'm Sorry and it will never happen again. 

God do u Forgive ME?

Memoirs of a Socialite: Green Grass

The grass always looks GREENER on the other side cuz its Fertilized in BULL SHIT!!!

Memoirs of a Socialite: Fighting a losing BATTLE

Have u ever been at ur wits end? At that point where ur just ready to throw in the towel?

Where do U go from there?

What's ur next move?

Ur in a situation that U just knew would work out...

RIGHT???

That's the Love Game (more like the "Love Battle").

Its like.... U fight this fight with all ur MIGHT. U give EVERYTHING U HAVE, Ur Absolute ALL... and still Nothin!!!

Y do I feel like I'm fighting for something that should already be MINE??? Could it be that "Real Love" isn't quite REAL at all?

Love is a LOSING GAME. At least that's what Amy said. But what does she know? And ain't she a CRACKHEAD anyway???

Continue to fight or Bow our Gracefully???

TO BE CONTINUED...

Memoirs of a Socialite: Tears on a Blackberry...

For the last week I think I've cried more than I have in my entire adult life.

I'm tired of cryin.

I'm tired of feelin.

I'm just tired of being sad. I've never been a sad person. I'm usually pretty upbeat. But I can't shake this one. I wear these feelings like a cloak on my back it seems. My permanent garb of shame. Either way these feelings weigh me down like a sack of stone. If I can muster up a smile, its filled with heartache and pain.

I'm SAD y'all...

If I cry one more time today I'm gonna pull out my hair. I hate this. I wanna go back to never feelin a thing. I wanna be cold and cruel again. I want that... Can I get that please? I mean whats the point of emotions anyway? THEY HURT!!!

I don't think my Blackberry can take too many more days like THIS.

Memoirs of a Socialite: Thinkin......

OH GOD!!! My thoughts won't leave me alone. I have some many thoughts and idea just floatin around in my head. I need to take a vacation from thinkin. U ever have one of those days where u can't really make heads or tales of ur thoughts. That's how I feel. My mind i one big heap of jumbled MUSH. I'M GONNA GO CRAZY TRYNA FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT!!! I think if I just had a day to it down and figure stuff out it wouldn't be so bad. But between workin slave hours, finishin this LAST CLASS, spendin time with the family, and all without neglectin the BOO. If that ain't a full plate I don't know what is. But that's life.... At least that's what I'm told.

Memoirs of a Socialite: My Moment of Truth.....

I'm sitting here readin. READIN & THINKIN... THINKIN & READIN. I've said some pretty strong stuff on this blog. Its a wonder I haven't been called out and challenged for my words. I mean DAMN!!!



The crazy thing about what I talk about is.... Its all random. Each post started out as a random though or idea that kinda grew from there. Dispite what some people think I never set out to hurt or offend anyone with my words. I really just wanted to get these crazy thoughts out my head. THAT IS ALL!!!


But here's the thing. I'm not sorry. I'm not sorry for anything that I've ever voiced.... Anything I've every shared. I'm GROWN!!! I have an opinion and unlike others I've not gonna allow other people to silence me. OUT HELL NO!!! Its just not happening. I can't allow folks to control me. Not at almost 30 y/0. I'M NOT GOIN!!!

So I say all this to say.... Anyone out there that reads my blog and finds themselves offended or hurt by any of my words..... FIND ANOTHER BLOG!!! I'm not changing. I'm not backing down. AND I COULD REALLY GIVE A GOOD FLYING FUCK!!!

Memoirs of a Socialite: I been gone for a Minute....

So its been a while. Did u miss me? I know I missed u. I missed tellin u all my deepest darkest secrets. I missed havin someone to vent to. I missed havin someone to celebrate with..... But I'm back. And I promise I'll never leave u this long again. SCOUTS HONOR (tho I was never a scout).

So what u wanna talk about?