It's getting late. Why you gotta be here?

So ok. I'm sittin here listenin to Floetry "Getting Late". And for the first time in a long time I'm actually listenin to the words... And its really takin me thru.

Baby we need to Umm... talk about where we're takin this thing. How far we're gonna let this go. We've been here before..... It's getting late.

"It's getting late... Why u gotta be here? Beside me. Watching, needing, wanting me. I'm afraid (Don't be). I'm Afraid (Don't Be). I'm so scared that you'll hurt me, TWICE!!!"

Its that right there. That couple lines of the song that draws me in every time. I mean think about it. U come around and I start feelin so Sexxxy, so comfortable, so loved..... SO SCARED! I know u say I shouldn't but after all the things I've seen...

Felt....

FEEL!!!

What can I do but act and react the way I do. I mean I've been down this road before. I know what happened next. I know what I want to happen too. But I'm SO scared. I know I may sound a little crazy or random in my speech but that just because when I think about U my head fills up with so many ideas and just scattered thoughts that I just can't help but to ramble.

"It's getting late. Why u gotta be here? Beside me. Watching, needing, wanting ME?"

Its crazy to feel so sure and unsure at the exact same time. Is that my fault or urs? I don't know. I know I'm afraid. I know I shouldn't be. But I am. Ur great. And ur great for me. But that doesn't change the fact that I don't want to go down the same painful roads that relationships bring.

"Listen... I've already been thinking about u in my mind. Far too often for u to be here at this time. U see, 1 hand is on 9 and the others on my THIGH!"

That touch

The kind of touch that can brush every care u've ever had away. At the same time ignite 101 fears. Fears and Nerves u wouldn't believe. Imagine wanting to express a feeling so bad that u get consumed by it.... to the point where u want to curl up in a ball and cry. That's how bad I want to make u happy. I want to please u in ur mind.. I want to stimulate ur soul. I want u. But I'm afraid.

See.... there goes the randomness again. I can't help it. I'm so all over when it comes to u.

"I see the memories replayed, same space, same place, same bodies Baby. I know theres a method to ur manliness, But I'm AFRAID."

I guess thats just it though. Sometimes I try to fit u into the mold, instead of just letting things.... BE. I didn't think I still dwelled in the past but maybe I do. OH the hell well. I need to get past it, right? Get over it, and start something new. I just need a lil kick in the ass to get me started down this very personal journey of discovery and healing. Care to join me Baby?